Excellence Reporter: Jan, what is the meaning of life?
Jan Esmann: Asked that question I at once thought you could write a dissertation about it or nothing at all. Both replies would be equally meaningless, but allow me to summarize my experience contemplating that very question for 59 years. Yes, I contemplated it from my very early years, remembering reflecting on that while in the crib. I am today 59.
Back then, in the crib, it seemed to me that the meaning of my life was to get out of the cycle of reincarnation. Yes! It was that clear to me. I prayed and prayed for my release until I became a young teenager, then I wasted a few years as a hippie. But when I became 17 I resumed the search in earnest and began regular meditation.
Oh Mother Divine. You have guided me all my life! Please guide me to fully realize you in and as me and your omnipresence! Thus I have prayed for over 40 years and meditated. Mother, through her infinite grace, took me to that realization and I dare say that that is the meaning of life: To realize god in and as you and in and as everything you can sense, perceive and contemplate. Mother, my love, help me explain this! It does not matter if your sense of god is male or female, father or mother. To me it was mother. To you it may be father or genderless. Why bother? It is all one. This one is bliss supreme, love supreme and supreme beingness in its infinite formless purity.
Part of the meaning of life is to realize your infinite Self as void. The Self, not the self. But that is kindergarten enlightenment as taught by the non-dualists. The higher state of enlightenment is both void and bliss supreme. To reach that is the meaning of life. The bliss supreme requires a form for its devotion, hence we enter the field of parabhakti. It is non-dual devotion. To explain this is very difficult since words are inherently dualistic. Language requires a signified and a signifier. But parabhakti transcends that.
Oh mother, my love! We are one, yet I worship you as my divine mother. How can I explain this paradox to non-initiates? Even only few of my initiates understand this and even of those a few are deluded. Mother, make me a better teacher!
The meaning of life is to become love. Love requires an object, hence mother, who is INFINITE LOVE, reveals herself to us and makes us her devotees. Or, if we are already her devotees, makes us better devotees. Beware that mother picks her own devotees, unlike the other forms of the divine. You can pray to mother and hope for the best.
Once you are connected with mother, or ideally merged with her, you will feel every cell of the body vibrate with subtle or intense love-bliss. It is a peculiar sensation. You may be managing your daily tasks and perhaps writing on a computer, but mother vibrates in every cell of your body and even your hair and nails. This may be confusing at first, but as you progress you realize your body, your incarnation, is meant to be pure worship of Mother.
This love-bliss is priceless. Its true name is Shakti or Paradevi. Let’s keep with Shakti for a while, having talked a bit about mother (Devi) already.
Parashakti resides in you as kundalini shakti. The purpose of life can be considered to be to awaken kundalini and bring her to merge with Shiva (Pure Being) in the brain. I have completed this journey and I testify to its veracity. Kundalini is not dangerous, contrary to what so many misguided pseudo-teachers say. It is the royal road to enlightenment. But you need a competent teacher who has traversed the path and can give you proper initiations into relevant meditation techniques. Or better, give you shaktipat and awaken your kundalini like that. Simple.
I share this path and process with my students.
~Jan Esmann, born January 18, 1960 in Copenhagen, Denmark.
I have been a spiritual seeker all my life. I am an artist (www.janesmann.com) and an author by profession.
I studied literary theory, rhetorics and modern culture at the university of Copenhagen. I also studied art restoration at the royal academy of arts. All in all I have a BA, BA, BS and MA. I teach meditation and give shaktipat for kundalini awakening.
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Categories: Advaita / non-duality, Art, Awakening
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