John Gray: What Is the Meaning of Life?

john-gray139The meaning of life to me can be answered with 4 questions.

What do you believe in?
What is love to you?
What are your hopes?
What is sacred to you?

What do you believe in?

I believe that we are here in this world to learn how to love ourselves and others and in that process discover our unique gifts that can make a positive difference in the world. I believe we attract and are attracted to situations and people that both challenge us and support us to learn how to love.

If you want to build muscles, you don’t go into a gym and lift the lightest and easiest weights. Instead, you pick those weights that challenge your limits of strength. You push to your limit and then you rest your muscles. In a similar way, life brings us challenges to push us to the limits of our capacity to love ourselves, life and others. In this way we can grow in love.

With this growth we open a door for our full creative potential to emerge. I believe that we are all born with a unique inner potential that is more than we are presently expressing. In addition, our unique potential, is needed in this world. It is our purpose. As we begin to express more of this inner potential we receive increasing support from the world. I believe that as you continue to discover and express your inner potential that peace of mind, unbounded enthusiasm and happiness increase.

I believe that suffering occurs when our thoughts, feelings or actions are not aligned with opening our hearts and expressing more of our inner potential. Our greatest suffering is when we close our hearts to the people we love the most. Our next greatest suffering is when we resist taking action to express our inner potential that we were born to express.

I believe that expressing our purpose in life results from a lifetime of mindful discovery. At first we need to follow those that inspire us. Through loving and appreciating them, we gradually find those qualities within ourselves. Through forgiving others we learn to love and accept our own imperfections. Through recognizing our own limitations with love and forgiveness, we automatically self-correct and transformation and growth can occur.

I believe that as more people think, feel and act from love, that it influences others and makes this journey easier for them. I believe that the desire for peace and love is increasing in the world and that one day it will be a reality for all humanity. I believe that within the pure desire for love and peace is the seed of the inner knowing that it can be achieved and the wisdom for taking the next step in that direction.

What is love to you?

Love is the heartfelt recognition of the goodness and value of someone or something.

Love is patient, forgiving and compassionate. Love gives rise to the sincere and willful intent to serve the wellbeing of another.

Through loving and being loved we experience happiness. Without love there is no joy in life. When someone recognizes our goodness or the value that we can provide we feel loved.

Love is caring, trust, acceptance, understanding, respect, appreciation, adoring, admiration, validation, approval, reassurance and encouragement. When we fall in love, we get a temporary glimpse of these many aspects of love.

Many couples after many years will still love their partner but it is not a fully felt love. They are dedicated to each other, they are dependent on each other but they no longer feel the love hidden in their hearts. They are role mates and not soul mates. They may still love each other but they no longer feel the love.

Our challenge is to love what we have and not take it for granted. Lasting love is earned through many years of overcoming frustration, disappointment and concern by opening the heart again and again.

This process takes the courage to repeatedly try again after feeling rejected or unappreciated. It requires the application of forgiveness which is needed again and again until there is nothing to forgive because you no longer demand perfection.

Every relationship challenge can either push us further apart or bring us back to love. By meeting our inevitable challenges with love, we can grow closer and our love can grow stronger.

What are your hopes?

Hope comes in many forms. Good and bad. Hope can blind us from seeing reality. That is not good. Hope can inspire us to take action and follow our hearts. That is good.

Hope is not helpful when one stays in a destructive relationship hoping that one day their partner will change. Hope is helpful when it inspires us to make positive changes in ourselves because we hope that will bring out the best in our partner.

I hope that my wife, my children and my grandchildren will always be safe, healthy, and happy. I hope that they will continue to grow in love and find their way in this world by making a meaningful difference.

I hope that I will continue to write books, teach seminars and enrich the lives of more and more people around the world.

I hope that all people can have access to an education that teaches them the fundamentals of love, good communication and good health.

I hope that men and women will learn to recognize their differences in a positive light so love can thrive at home.

I hope that as love can grow in our families that it will impact our voting decisions and we will have less corrupt governments.

I hope that people will take more responsibility for their health. I hope more people will realize that junk food, packaged foods, GMO foods and our overdependence on medications and antibiotics only create more disease and sickness.

I hope that we will continue to use more sustainable green energy and less coal, nuclear, and oil for energy. I hope that we can make this change without waiting for tragedies to motivate us.

I hope that all people will learn the communication and relationship skills needed to sustain loving relationships and keep families intact with both parents available to their children.

What is sacred to you?

The root meaning of sacred is sacrifice. By following your inner conscience of what is good, loving and productive and not what is easier or more immediately gratifying, you are able to make life sacred.

Life is filled with the temptations of immediate gratification that leave us wanting more and more. By following your heart and making life sacred, you can also enjoy a much more lasting and fulfilling happiness. This also helps increase your character and strengthen your values so you can discover and express your unique self.

Following my inner conscience is sacred to me. Following through and doing what I say I will do is sacred to me. I clearly know the secret of my success in life is prioritizing love, kindness, fairness, and following through on my promises.

Love in the family is sacred to me. Loving kindness and fairness in the workplace is sacred to me.

Nature is sacred to me.

Prayer is sacred to me. I meditate in some form every day. I reconnect with my source and surrender my life to being of service. When I am not taking action in alignment with my purpose, I suffer.

I love my work and I love my family. They are sacred to me. I also love myself. I take plenty of time to do what I like to do and enjoy doing. I am also not afraid or resistant to making sacrifices for my wife, family, or work. I continue to balance all of these aspects.

Throughout my life, I have made the more successful decisions in the context of sacrifice. I took the difficult path and not the easy path because the difficult path was aligned with my heart. It just felt like the right thing to do.


~John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages in 150 different countries. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time. It launched his Mars Venus book series that forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.John’s newest book is titled, Conscious Men: A Practical Guide to Develop 12 Qualities of the New Masculinity.

Copyright © 2016 Excellence Reporter

Categories: Life, Psychology, Therapy

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