Since I was a young child I asked myself this question ‘What is the meaning of it all?’ Why am I here?’ What the hell is going on here? I was surrounded by facades and people pretending to know a lot of apparently very important stuff. There were so many rules and so much mental information that must prove that there is a secret meaning that they all know. And this meaning must be very grown-up, important and serious.
But as much as I tried, I couldn’t understand what the real meaning of that kind of life was? It seemed very restricting, exhausting and above all simply didn’t resonate with what I knew to be true. That knowing that I knew wasn’t intellectual or any kind of belief. It wasn’t some kind of special experience or state of mind. It was beyond all of that. It was, and is, a simple knowing that whatever is happening, good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable, is part of the movie of life. I am watching the show. The show sometimes is a rollercoaster of emotions and sensations and sometimes it is calm, but I am watching it all. I am also watching this woman participate in the show. She is the main actress. She is the point where the ‘watching’ and the show come together. She is a living paradox of watching and participating.
The meaning that is usually assumed to be important in life, is the meaning for ‘me’. As if this ‘me’ is really who I am. But recognising that the person that I am, is in fact only the tip of the pencil of that ‘watching’ that uses this person to write itself, then in fact there is no ‘me’ in here. Only a watching myself participate. Only a play ‘as if’ there is a ‘me’ in here. Recognising this and letting go of the usual chase for meaning for ‘me’ can leave you feeling very lost and even depressed at first. You recognise that Life is essentially meaningless. But eventually this ‘dark night of the soul’ passes and you see that even the meaning of being lost and depressed is still an assumed meaning for ‘me’. There is even less meaning than that. This meaninglessness is not a depressing state. It is simply empty. Empty of anything that means anything about or to ‘me’. Empty of ‘me’.
Then what is left is simply the experience itself. It doesn’t mean anything about me, and yet it is still experienced. In fact without needing a meaning for me, this gives space to really experience Life fully. Everything is experienced in an open and raw way, without any overlay of meaning. None of it needs meaning. It is enough as it is. It is in fact more than enough. It is overflowing with Life expression, with Life playing itself in this way or that. This is the expression of Love. Life is Love loving itself in this particular way, now exactly as it is in this experience. This is the true meaning of Life. The raw experience without any need of any filter or overlay. Nothing means anything and yet, everything means so much that it is beyond all the words. It is just that the meaning is inherent in itself without anything extra needed. The strawberry is perfectly sweet enough as it is, without needing any extra sugar on top. There is no need for any extra meaning or mental labelling or interpretation to Life because it is enough unto itself. This enough-ness is too mysteriously simple for the mind. In fact the only thing that the mind can do is bow down in absolute reverence to the simplicity of Life as it is.
Our limited minds can not know the true meaning of Life no matter how hard they try. It is only when you give up trying to know something that will give you a special ‘me’ identity, that you see how simple and obvious the true meaning really is. Life doesn’t care about the meaning you think you know. It is simply living itself as it is.
Within the movie of this person’s life, the only purpose or meaning is to acknowledge this simplicity and live in alignment with that. You don’t need to learn how to do that. It is all around you, in you, and as you. Just stop for a moment and see the mysterious love song of Life to itself.
~Unmani invites you to answer your deepest longing for the truth, and to courageously live that in your life.
Ever since she was a child, Unmani never identified with being a separate individual, and always felt deeply at one with life. But as her environment and people around her did not reflect this Oneness, she felt lost and alone, and as if she had been dropped on an alien planet. Truth was always her only passion, and everything else was irrelevant in comparison. As a teenager, Unmani bowed down in desperate prayer for the Truth, and was willing to sacrifice everything for that. She spent years traveling around the world living in all kinds of communities and cultures. In India she spent a long time at the Osho Commune in Pune, where she took ‘Sannyas’ (an energetic ritual, and the receiving of a new name) as a commitment to her undying love of Truth. Eventually her deep prayer was answered when she met the German Zen master, Dolano. Unmani finally woke up out of self-doubt and confusion, and acknowledged that same Oneness that she had always known since she was a child. This ‘awakening’ was just the beginning of the endless awakening to, and living as, that Oneness, in her very human adult life.
In 2003, Unmani wrote her first book ‘I am Life itself’. This has now been translated and published in several languages. Soon after that, Unmani began holding Satsang meetings and intensive retreats for groups all over the world. In 2008, Unmani wrote ‘Die to Love’ as an exploration of love and relating. In 2013 she met the love of her life, the wonderful musician, and courageous lover of life, Robert Hanuman. They had a son called Sky. Becoming a mother, deepened Unmani’s lived experience of the Truth in a very ordinary and grounded way. Then in January 2018, while they were in India, Robert Hanuman died from a sudden heart attack. Since Robert’s death, Unmani shares about grief and love, and how this heartbreak is also an endless heart-opening.
Unmani has been holding Satsang or Meeting in Truth for 14 years, and in this time so many people have been deeply touched by her work: She meets each person in their personal experience, while at the same time holding them in the Absolute Truth of who they really are. This combination, and paradox, of the personal and impersonal, brings so much depth, openness and healing to people’s lives. They wake up to who they really are, and discover how this is lived and integrated into their daily lives.
Unmani is the author ‘I am Life itself’ and ‘Die to Love’ and has just finished her third book. There are also over 100 video clips on YouTube of her meetings, as well as interviews on http://batgap.com/unmani/ and several other places.
For more information about Unmani, and her meetings and intensives,
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/unmani
For Robert Hanuman’s Music: www.roberthanuman.com
Copyright © 2019 Excellence Reporter
Categories: Advaita / non-duality, Awakening
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