In the end, when all is said and done, what really matters to us? Is it our career? Our travels? Our income? Our ego? Nope. In the end it’s all about our relationships with others. My parents knew that. My wife, Tracey, knows that. We have two mentor couples, both older than us. They know that, too. Squandering our relationships today, if unchecked, becomes our tragedy tomorrow.

As a young-ish intern, one of my earliest patients was a 73-year-old gentleman who was dying of emphysema. He was a cranky old creature with a larger-than-life voice and presence. He was a very successful businessman but his important relationships were in tatters. His ex-wives wanted nothing to do with him, nor did his children. This fractious but sad old man sitting in front of me was a tragic reminder that there are worse things than death. Though he passed after only a few months after we began our work, I will always be grateful to him for teaching me about the importance of relationships and how vital it is that I keep them in good order.

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~Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a couple therapist known for his pioneering work in helping partners form happy, secure, and long-lasting relationships. His method—called PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®)—draws on principles of neuroscience and teaches partners to become what he terms “secure-functioning.” Together with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, Dr. Tatkin founded the PACT Institute to train psychotherapists and other professionals how to incorporate his method into their practices with couples. Therapists from all over the world are being trained in this breakthrough approach.
www.StanTatkin.com

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